Bad joke

‎message:
Dear Technical Support misters:
Last year I changed from the GIRLFRIEND version 7.0 to the WIFE version 1.0, and I have noticed that after a while the program started with some unexpected subroutine processes, which then went further, downloading a hidden program called SON 1.0 that uses me a lot of hard disk space, uses important resources, and also slows down the Operating System alarmingly.
On the other hand, WIFE 1.0 installs itself as a resident in RAM memory and is launched when any application starts, monitoring all system activities.
Applications like:
BEER WITH FRIENDS 10.3,
PARTY NIGHT 2.5,
SUNDAY FOOTBALL 5.0,
no longer work normally and the system crashes every time I try to run them.
From time to time a hidden program (I think it’s a Trojan) called MOTHER-IN-LAW 1.0 is launched, which appears by closing several connection ports and manages to hang the system, or causes WIFE 1.0 to behave in a totally unpredictable way, for example, stopping attending to whatever command you want to enter.
I’m thinking of going back to the old program GIRLFRIEND 7.0, but I haven’t been able to uninstall WIFE 1.0 or at least keep it minimized.
Could you help me?
Thanks a lot,
RESPONSE FROM THE TECHNICAL SERVICE:
Dear user:
This is a very common complaint among users. It is due, in most cases, to a basic misconception. Many people go from any version of Girlfriend X.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that it is just an Entertainment and Utilities program. However, Wife 1.0 is a FULL OPERATING SYSTEM, designed to control the ENTIRE system.
It is highly unlikely that you will be able to uninstall Wife 1.0 and go back to any version of Girlfriend X.0. It is almost impossible to uninstall or remove the program files once installed.
The same goes for Mother in law 1.0 which is a hidden application that is installed in RAM while Wife 1.0 is running.
There are those who have tried low-density formatting, then installing Girlfriend Plus or cheat 2.0 programs, but end up with more problems than before, (see the Manual, the chapter "Payment of Pensions" and "Child Support").
Consider installing some additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. They are especially recommended, such as: Ask For Forgiveness.Exe, Flowers 5.0, Jewels 2.3; you can also use whatever you say v9.7. And avoid excessive use of the “ESC” key
NEVER install Secretary in Miniskirt 3.3, Sweet Friend 6.9, or Awkward Buddies 4.6.
These programs DO NOT work under Wife 1.0, and most likely, cause irreversible and irreparable damage to the Operating System.
If all options fail, you can opt for systems based on other existing platforms on the market but at your own risk such as Bachelor 1.0 or Gay 5.3.